‘Scammers, red flags, trust, ghosting, online safety’

Sara Allwright

There has been a few posts recently relating to trust, red flags, ghosting, and online safety.

A few days ago a gentleman started following me on Instagram. We exchanged a few text msgs, he asked about my artwork, and he appeared to be genuinely interested. He continues by telling me his wife had passed away four years ago, leaving him alone with his 14 year old son.

As our conversations progress the ‘red flags’ start to appear. He asked me many questions but was reluctant to answer any of mine. He talked of wanting to find love again…..that special woman!

So, this morning I did a ‘reverse image search’ on the photos of himself on Instagram. I’m so glad I did. He had over thirty different names, personas, on a vast array of dating sites and was flagged as a ‘scammer’.

What a sad and disappointing experience. I listened, I empathised with his sad loss, I trusted what he was telling me.

Now, the reason I know about ‘reverse image search‘ is because approx. 8 months ago I joined a dating site (advised to do reverse image search), it certainly opened my eyes to the deceit out there. However, I did go on a couple of dates that I believe were in good conscience. But my last date ‘ghosted’ me. We met for a coffee, had a lovely chat, went our separate ways. I text him later that day to thank him for our date and hope he got home safely. He did not acknowledge my text, nothing. Until today…4 months later…he text me “Hi”

What a day 🫨😵‍💫…’trust’, ‘red flags’, ‘ghosting’, and ‘online safety’ all reared their ugly heads today.

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Published by Sara Allwright

Fine Artist

15 Comments

  2. Wow, what a rollercoaster of experiences! It’s like a crash course in online dating reality. It’s great that you did a reverse image search—definitely a smart move in today’s digital jungle.
    That guy sounds like a master of disguise with all those personas! As for the ghoster resurfacing after four months, that’s a plot twist worthy of a rom-com.
    Just remember, trust your instincts, keep your guard up, and maybe save the empathy for those who deserve it. Stay safe out there! Don’t forget to have a bottle of wine next to you.🤣😂

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    1. Thank you Helen. Sad isn’t it 🙁. At the time I felt a little guilty for doubting his intentions. But, I’m so glad I did. It’s just disappointing to be at the receiving end of someone who really doesn’t care about other human beings😟.

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      2. I’ve always been trusting, look for the good in everyone🤔. It’s a positive trait… that’s what I’m going to believe 😄😁. Thank you for your acknowledgment and kind words 💕

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  4. Awwe… I’m so sorry you experienced that 😒. It’s amazing how all of the signs were there guiding you 💗 I’m glad you paid attention and didn’t let things get any further along!

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