Category: Uncategorized

Overcoming Insecurity: My Journey Through Academia

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

After leaving school at 15yrs old with no real education or qualifications, I felt academically inept. I didn’t care at the time, all I wanted to do (and good at) was be an athlete; a sprinter.

On leaving school, being homeless for several months, my aspirations to be an athlete fell by the wayside. as did most things.

After finding my feet (no pun intended) at 19 yrs of age, I went to night school and studied Art and Psychology. I struggled, I had a lot to learn.

I gained a place in University to study Fine Art & Critical & Contextual Studies. I couldn’t believe it. I was terrified. I convinced myself they had made a mistake, they would soon find out, realise I shouldn’t be there.

On arrival, I felt so out of place. I felt like a fraud. I didn’t belong in academia, sit in lectures and take notes, write essays…F**K!

I kept a low profile, went to lectures, took copious notes, recorded every lecture, which I replayed numerous times; in case I missed anything.

I felt sure I wouldn’t last a month, if that. The months went by, and I was still there. After three years, I graduated with my degree and went straight into teaching Art & Art History.

I didn’t get to run in the Olympics, but I eventually got my education.

I really felt out of place in Uni, but so I’m so glad I persevered. 🤗🙏

Thank you for reading ✨

Happy Friday 😁

“100 Subscribers“ 🤗

Yay 😊 Thank you to everyone who has subscribed to my blog. I really appreciate your support and comments. I’m sooo enjoying reading and engaging with your posts ✨🌻

THANK YOU ❤️

“Life without a computer” 😱

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

Life without a computer 🤔

Walking around a grocery store; touch, smell, prod, poke the produce before selecting the goods. Rather than selecting produce with a few taps on the keyboard and delivered to your doorstep 🚛.

Physically seeing, consulting with GP’s and medical professionals. Not the online questionnaires and video appointments.

Instead of ‘google’. The library is full of beautiful books, the aroma of the well read pages 📚📖.

Speaking, communicating face to face with people. The sound and tone of their voice, body language, facial expressions 🤪. Rather than text, email..blah blah blah.

However, I wouldn’t be communicating with all you lovely people without my computer 👩‍💻😁✨

“Skill”

What skill would you like to learn?

What skill would I like to learn 🤔

There are many skills I would like to learn. But, the main one for me right now is; How to create healthy boundaries. 😁

“In Search of Sara”

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

I feel somewhat apprehensive about revealing/writing this. But, one of the things I need to pay more attention to is:

To open up, verbalise, write about; finding Sara, the real me, not the suppressed me.

Three years ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD.

Prior to my diagnosis, I was evasive, silenced, unheard, and shut myself off from the world. I spent the majority of my childhood in a dissociative state. I constantly strived to be invisible. I could not express myself verbally or through the written word. I found safety in expressing my hidden world, my feelings, my emotions through Art.

I have recently completed a long and arduous course of EMDR Therapy. Although extremely difficult, this therapy has alleviated a lot of my trauma triggers. I have now reprocessed some of my most extreme distressing life experiences; especially childhood traumas.

I no longer want to be invisible!

This post is one of my first steps to owning my past traumas and becoming visible.

I am in the process of writing my memoir; ‘In search of Sara’. Not an easy task 🤪, a work in progress 😁😁.

Thank you for reading. 🙏🌻

‘Fullfilled’

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

When I’m teaching… I work hard to promote/reinforce my students/learners to express themselves with confidence. When they flourish I feel fulfilled.

I work hard tending to my garden. I feel fulfilled as my blooms/flowers blossom and grow.

I work hard at perfecting my cookery skills. Very fulfilling when it goes to plan 😋, which doesn’t happen all the time 🤣🤣